Is that your duck?
February 21, 2008
A tad retarded? Yes.
Am I sorry for posting this? No.
Snowflakes are not Appropriate
February 19, 2008
Perhaps you can make snowflakes and go around and tape them to strings and hang them from the ceiling.It was a dull Tuesday morning, when an employee at Big Jobs Inc. was feeling down. Through a series of e-mails, the idea to make paper snowflakes and hang them on strings from the ceiling dawned upon this employee.
The employee thought, “This would bring a cheer to everyone’s miserable lives.”
The employee spent hours cutting and taping snowflakes to strings. The employee was satisfied with the out come and began to hang snowflakes around the office.
The feeling of happiness and change was going around and people cheered on the employee. “Great job!” shouted another employee from across the room.
Finally, the last snowflake needed to be hung. The last place was Old Lady Bojangles office. As the employee hung a snowflake in Old Lady Bojangles cube a tear streamed down her face, “Old widow Bojangles, why do you cry?” the employee asked.
Old Bojangles will turned towards the employee and placed her hands on her knees and said, “Dear, there was once a time when I had a soul.....there was once a time when there was a sparkle in my eye that was much like your own before I came to wretched accounting and lost all the dignity I had left.'
It was a Hallmark moment and then from behind them the manager came and tore down the snowflake and hastily said, “You need, to remove all these snowflakes for they are not approved by Human Resources!”
Old Lady Bojangles began to tear up. Her soul has been tortured in this environment too long and this felt like the final blow to her. She thought this was it.
The manager went to her office mumbling, "Yes, yes! The snowflakes tried to take ME down, but alas! dear lord Satan, for you have given me the power to CRUSH hope and dreams with the mighty excuse of HR!" and she will release a shrill of a laughter that would make a grown man shudder in fear.
From the rafters a man known as El Tiburon flew in, in hopes to save the day. With his dark outfit, his stylish boots, beautiful hat and delicately groomed mustache he said, “El Manager, I have come to save these people from your evil grips!”
The manager was not amused and lets out a roar.
"DO YOU DARE CHALLENGE ME?!" shouted the manager, "I have the power of SATAN behind me! For you not know my wrath.
The manager shouted in the deepest of deep voice, "Minions ASSEMBLE!"
Out from the crevices of the cubicles little demons come out laughing and dancing. The sun blacks out and it is night, everyone in the office screams. The doors slam down with furious sounding thumps. Locks go klink and clunk, windows go from glass to stone. A series of flames rise from the ground taking shapes of dancing demons playing the devils tunes.
"What have you Tiburon!? You have yet to see the wrath of The Dark Lord!" shrieked the manager.
"Ha ha!" exclaimed El Tiburon, "You think you can scare me with this witch craft!? I think you need your dark lord to stop going to Party City on 75th Ave by the Wal-Mart, because these party effects are child’s play!"
El Tiburon pulls out an acoustic, his nails grow and he strums the most perfect chord in the world...G7b #msus9.
The room begins to rumble, the manager lets out a roar, "What?! Is that all?!"
The rumbling gets louder and the building begins to shake more violently, and the crashing sounds of something breaking through the ceiling is heard and everyone is astonished to see a Pegasus flying down through the ceiling with a ray of white sunlight. Everyone was cheering, "Ti-bu-ron! Ti-bu-ron! Ti-bu-ron!"
"QUIET YOU LOW LEVEL EMPLOYEES!" shouted the manager.
A series of boos and middle finger responses raise from the crowd.
"El Tiburon, your time is limited, you better ride your lame dream horse out of here before you become a low level employee like the rest of these miserable souls that work paycheck to paycheck, and doing mundane work that has zero impact on any ones life." said the manager.
"You think you can scare me?!" jabbed El Tiburon.
The manager gave a chuckle and took in a deep breath...."ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
El Tiburon was knocked off his feet and fell face first into the copy machine. Pegasus reared and gave out a shrill. El Tiburon got up and looked the manager in the eye.
El Tiburon was bleeding from his lower lip; he did not know what to do next. He wiped the blood off with his old kerchief that his nana gave to him when she was on her death bed. He slowly put the kerchief in his front pocket and said, "Watch out, for I am...El Tiburon. Vamanos!!!"
Millions of mariachis came out of the bathrooms and janitor closets. All dressed in the finest mariachi wear you could purchase. They all lifted their instruments and said, "Por El Tiburon!"
They began to play "El Jaliensce" and handfuls of beautiful women came out and began to dance! Paper lanterns descended from the ceilings as if God Himself wanted to throw a fantastic fiesta. A chimichanga platter was being served to everyone. The employees began to cheer! The spirit of the room turned from the deepest darkest black to a brilliant yellow! Life was felt.
Old Lady Bojangles got out of her wheelchair and began to Flamenco dance. "I never have felt so alive," said Old Lady Bojangles, "It's as if my soul has returned!"
The room cheered and the manager was not having any of this. Some of her minions even began to join in with the festivities.
"I will not have ANY of this! This party is not sanctioned by Human Resources!" shouted the manager.
The manager reached into her pocket and pulled out a cell phone. You all have ten minutes to leave, or else I will make you all regret it!
"We will not have this!" shouted the employees, "Viva El Tiburon!"
El Tiburon grabbed two empanadas from his pockets and threw them at the manager. One hit the manager’s phone out of her hand. The other hit the manager in the head, causing the manager to fall back.
The manager stood up. "I warned you..." said the manager with and evil face with blood rushing down from her brow.
The manger began to transform. Her skin became a scaly red and black combination. Horns and muscles appeared all over her body. Her clothes ripped off to reveal that she was not only a demon, but a man. The employees scream in terror and ran to hide under their cubicles. The manager was hovering over the office at ten feet, laughing.
The manager leaned back and sucked in a breath. The room began to feel the suction, fax memos began to fly around the office entering her mouth. Then, the manager let out a roar!
INS agents began to fly out her mouth, and landing in the room. Hundreds of them were in there.
"You are all under arrest" said the lead INS agent, while the demonic manager chuckled in the background.
The mariachis began to try to find an exit, but alas, everyone was trapped in.
"You may have gotten away this time El Manager, but we shall meet again! Ole!" said El Tiburon. Just like that all the mariachis, women and Tiburon rode away on the Pegasus.
"HAHA, El Tiburon, you are nothing but a false prophet!" shouted the manager to El Tiburon.
All the employees were terrified and discontent.
"What? GET BACK TO WORK!" shouted the manager to all the employees.
The employees scrambled to their desks. Everyone's spirits were crushed, they felt let down.
In the corner Old Lady Bojangles sat in her chair and looked out the window. The last ounce of soul she had, had been destroyed by the manager. She could no longer take the torture. With her last breath, softly she said, "Rosebud."
Anamanaguchi - Power Supply
February 15, 2008
When I was about to listen to this, I was expecting some half-assed Nintendo music that many people try to do. Low and behold, I was slapped around silly and was called an elitist who though he knew everything about MIDI, but really I was a loser who couldn't help but write lame music. *tear*Using real instruments along with a NES Anamanaguchi uses 8-bit (Ha! Look at the 8-b in 8-bit, it's giving you the tongue) sound along with powerness and awesomeness that make Power Supply an amazing powerful album. It is a harmonious combination of both digital and analog instruments.
There really isn't so much to say to describe the magnitude of this album. It truly is a fantastic heart-felt journey that one can find meaning to. With no words just pure rockage, the songs paint beautiful scenes of color and life. Deep huh?
Power Supply is full of powerful melodies and flavorful sounds that make me want to actually rock out and have a good time. You can't go wrong with Power Supply. Lucky for you Power Supply is a free album that you can go and download right now, which I recommend you do. You will not be disappointed.
(click to go download Power Supply at 8bitpeoples)